Friday, 10 February 2012


Matthew had to go to Hamburg for work on Wednesday morning so he popped in to the hospital to see the boys quickly before his flight. He got there ridiculously early just to see them for a few minutes before he left but it wasnt great news. The nurses told him that they'd both been up and down for a lot of the night and that the doctors would be seeing them soon. I spoke to Matthew at the airport and he was so worried that he nearly didn't go. I told him that he should definitely go and that I'd make sure I got all the info from the doctors and update him every couple of hours. His voice was all shaky when he said goodbye which of course set me off! I kept it together and got to the hospital as soon as I could.

The doctors said they would keep a close eye on them both and wouldnt be doing anything more than that for now as their blood gases and tests were fine and showed no infection so they put it down to their chronic lung disease and just needing time to mature. Every time I speak to the doctors I either have to sit down or hold on to something almost as if i'm bracing myself for the worst and quite embarrassingly I realised after speaking to the doctors that I was holding on to one of the nurses hands! She didnt seem to mind although she walked away rubbing it so I think I may have been squeezing quite hard!

For the rest of the day and for all of Thursday, they were constant and seemed much more stable. This meant that the doctors left them alone which was a relief. Highlights include Xander weeing all over nurse Sophie when she was changing him and Joseph poo'ing all over her when she did him. That's my boys!

Matthew went straight to the airport to see the boys when he landed on Thursday evening and they were still doing ok. Having woken up this morning and called, it sounds like they were both a bit wobbly in the night again and Xander was up at 50% in the night although he was down to 40% this morning. He was at around 35% when I was there in the day so that's a bit of a jump. He'd also had a couple of apneas (heartbeat stops) so they were again keeping an eye on them. The apneas are quick which is good but horrible to see as the nurses rush over and check their colour and movement as the monitors are slightly delayed. I'm slightly dreading getting there today as I have a feeling the doctors will want to put a plan in to place to get our boys, or at least Xander moving in the right direction. I don't really mind so much anymore if they say he needs the same last resort medicine that Joseph had if it means he gets better. His face is all swollen and his nose all squashed from the sipap which is sad to see.

Joseph was on 3 hours on, 3 hours off but he's now on 5 hours on, 1 hour off as he wasn't doing quite as well. Come on lungs...grow strong for my babies.


 Xander inbetween a quick sipap mask change


Xanders little swollen face

1 comment:

  1. I found myself deeply relieved when you told the story of holding the nurses hand as it allowed me to let out some emotion and I laughed ... but then came the tears of feeling your deep emotions ... thank you for sharing this!