I have two good memories from the weekend though;
1) After holding Xander for a little bit the nurse gently lifted him off me to put him back in his incubator. He's too little really to be handled too much and it disturbs him being lifted so he did a little cry and reached out his hand to hold on to something. He managed to get hold of my hair so tightly and wouldnt let go! It was such a funny sight seeing him holding on to me and so lovely as a part of me likes to think he didnt want to leave me - obviously not the case but it was so sweet seeing him grab on to my hair desperate to cling on to something. The nurse was using two hands to hold him, Matthew had Joseph and I was enjoying it too much to unclench his fist so I let him hang on for a few seconds...bad mummy!
2) This is a good one. Matthew was changing Xanders nappy and looked away for a second. At this precise moment Xander did an enormous projectile poo right to the other end of the incubator! Quite impressive for a little man! I obviously took photos and relished in the fact that Matthew had to clear it up! Well done Xander!
Today was a weird day. I decided to go ahead with my NCT classes as everyone says its great for meeting local friends with babies which is so important when the babies are home so you dont get lonely and have a good network of friends around you etc. So, I went to my first class today. I knew it was going to be hard as I'd have to explain why I dont have a bump and what happened but I wanted to go. The instructor introduced herself and then asked us to tell the group about ourselves and how our pregnancy was going etc...gulp. When it got to me, I did my best to pretend everything was fine and the twins arriving early was a little blip but i think my wobbly chin gave the game away! I didnt cry though which I was very proud of! The instuctor and all the mums were so lovely - asking sensitive questions but when she said "and how are you, how are you feeling?" I nearly let the wobbly chin develop into big fat tears but instead I said "still in shock" and laughed. I dont think a bunch of strangers really want to hear how I feel!
The class was about 5 hours long and when it finished I was desperate to get to the hospital so drove like a nutter to get there asap. (Matthew if you're reading this just ignore any penalty charges that come through the door!) As I got in to the nursery, Joseph was crying as he was having a blood test and Xander was crying as he was having an X ray. The nurse then said that Xander may need the same 'last resort' medicine that Joseph had as his Oxygen requirements were so up and down. Having held in the tears all day, the flood gates opened. Later in the evening they said that Joseph needs another blood transfusion.
Amongst all of this, we're trying to sort out renting our flat out, selling my car, moving house and what feels like a million other life admin tasks. Its probably for the best as otherwise I'd sit in the hospital every hour of the day staring at the two little one's not knowing what to do with myself!
This week WILL get better!
Xander - quick pic as sipap was being changed
Put your hand up if you can't wait to come home!