Thursday, 19 January 2012

Matthew holds Joseph!

The last couple of days have been quite an emotional rollercoaster. Joseph has been sleeping and looking so peaceful which makes me happy whilst Xander wriggles a lot and reaches out like he's trying to hold our hand. It's so hard not being able to comfort him and it's heartbreaking seeing his little face looking all sad like he's trying to cry but he can't because of the big tube in his throat. It makes me well up even thinking about that little face.

Today was better...they extubated Xander (took the big ventilation tube out of this mouth and put a Ccap in his nose). It looks awful but it's so much more comfortable for him. He had it done this morning at 11am and when we left at 10pm ish he was still doing well. Come on my can do it, big strong breaths. They tried for the second time with Joseph but he didn't like it and they had to put him back on the ventilation tube bless him. It's quite an ordeal for them when they try it so they'll probably leave him for a day or two before trying again.

We went to part of a twin talk at 8pm at the hospital which talks about feeding and sleeping when you bring them home. I felt so jealous of all the mums there with their bumps and healthy babies in their tummys whilst mine were struggling upstairs. The midwife who did the talk had preterm babies herself so we had a quick chat and she was really reassuring so we both left feeling a little lifted.

When we got back upstairs, Xander was still doing well and resting nicely - such a good boy. Midwife Michelle asked if I wanted help change Josephs nappy which was all very exciting!! She asked out of kindness but a small part of me thinks it was also as she hates to touch cotton wool! Even a simple task like changing his nappy takes a lot of prep and it wears him out so we had to be quick. I loved loved loved helping and I almost felt like a proper mummy! We're both very proud at the size of his little weeny - especially Matthew!

Matthew then helped to change his sheets - he's changed the sheets at home about twice so this was a real challenge for him! Turns out all he had to do is lift Joseph whilst the midwife changed the sheets - typical that he got out of it! It looked like it wasn't very comfortable for Joey with all his tubes in but he did so well and I loved seeing Matthew's face light up as he held his son (sort of) for the first time.

We left feeling like our boys were doing well and we're excited to spend the day with them tomorrow. Sleep well my angels, rest lots so we can have a good day of growing and getting strong tomorrow. Love you so much xxx

Womb holding Xander.
Xanders Ccap

Changing Joey's nappy and then trying to settle him

Matthew holding Joey as midwife changes sheets
Goodnight kisses from daddy

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