Thursday, 26 January 2012

Express yourself

I'm expressing at the moment as breastmilk has so much goodness in it especially in the first week or so and my boys need all the help they can get. The only problem is expressing isn't as easy as it sounds. You 're meant to do it every 3 hours including through the night. I set my alarm a couple of nights ago for 3am and tried to get going but I couldnt get the machine to work - I fidled and twidled but nothing I did made any difference. In order to breastfeed you're meant to be relaxed and calm - ideally looking at your baby so you release Oxytocin and therefore lots of milk. Attaching the machine to my breasts instead of holding my babies in my arms is hard enough as it is but when the machine didnt work I lost it and through the attachments on the floor. Tantrum complete. I hope my boys take after Matthew.(who slept through the whole thing!) Having exchanged the machine the next day - all seems better but waking up through the night is no fun at all as instead of going back to sleep I lie awake wondering how my boys are. I'm now trying a new technique of expressing every 2 hours in the day and then massaging my breasts in the night to keep them active - my boobs have never received so much attention! (even though they've always been massive obviously ;)

My little Joseph was struggling on the ventilator and last night the doctors advised that they give him a course of medicine to help strengthen his lungs. The medicine has some negative side effects so they dont like to give it unless absolutely necessary - which it was. Poor little lamb. Xander was doing so well but started to need more oxygen so he's had an xray to see if he has fluid on his lungs. Please please let it not be anything more than that as if it is he may have to go back on the big ventilator again. We'll find out this afternoon.

I got a cuddle with Xander last night - there's nothing like his warm little body against mine. He had his eyes open and was staring at me. I hope he knows i'm his mummy. He was stretching his little arm out on me so I think he was comfortable. The day their tubes come out will be the happiest day of my life. Bless my little angels.

Cuddles from Xander

Joseph below resting in his incubator

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