The Rocky Road

All the doctors have been telling us to expect this 'Rocky Road' and we didnt really understand what they meant but we hit it hard on Saturday morning. Both our boys needed blood transfusions and we were told they had heart murmurs. Boom. There we had it. Xanders blood gases weren't great and Jospeh's haemaglobin levels were unstable. Boom. So sad for our boys who had been doing so well the previous day. Neither of us spoke much for the rest of the day as we tried to digest everything that we'd been told. A sad day.

I hadn't felt well on the Friday night and on Saturday I felt a little worse but put it down to being overwhelmed and tired. Saturday night I was still waking up in hot sweats and shivering all over and on Sunday morning I went for a check up and after a full examination (yikes!) the docs said they saw some retained placenta.

I was readmitted and put on an antibiotic drip and was told I'd need an operation the following morning. I'd love to say I put on a brave face but I obvisouly burst into tears and told the doctor I just wasnt going to have it! Thank God Matthew was there to calm me down. He stayed the night with me and was there all morning until I had it done. The aneasthetist said he was going to ask me questions and then ask me to count to 20 so he knew I was totally out. All i can remember was him asking me what I prefered 'Gin and Tonic or Wine' and me replying 'Both' . That was it, I was out like a light. The doctor said she thought she got it all out and time will tell. I'm hoping and praying it's all out so I dont have to go throught that again but if I do, I can do it. My boys are going through worse so it's nothing compared to their pain I'm sure.

The day ended well as we went to say goodbye to the boys and Matthew was allowed to hold Xander. My little Joey is still not well enough to be held. One day soon my angel I promise you.