Wednesday, 13 June 2012


Well, it turns out nanny M wasn't as amazing as we thought! Although we will be forever grateful that she taught us how to ged wind up properly and the boys are feeding much better  - her routine wasnt very useful and the amounts she told us to put the boys on for feed were really unrealistic and they were starving - infact they lost weight at their next weigh in. J didnt sleep through ever again and infact they were waking more than ever before...we were feeding them individually when they woke up as she instructed but as anyone with twins will know this is a massive no no and we were getting about 2 hours sleep a night. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture for a reason and my God we were both just losing the plot - I say we, but really I mean me! Matthew seems to cope much better with less sleep. I on the other hand was feeling sick and dizzy again and feeling like I was sinking a little.

After a few more nannys came to stay and after them all showing us their techniques on how to settle, feed, burp, play and handle babies something in my brain clicked. I'd had enough and suddenly I felt calm and decided that with all these nannies telling me whats best, I was losing my confidence yet again and I would rather just do things my own way. I'll probably get it wrong and I'm sure other people do things better but I'd had enough of being told I should or shouldnt - these are my babies and I'll do what I think is best. I'm so grateful for advice but if one more nanny tells me another way to sleep train a baby which contradicts all the others then I'm going to go mad!

The boys are still only letting us have about 4 hours broken sleep a night - mainly as we go to bed at 8.30pm every night just to get an hour in before the dreaded night waking! We're both shattered but have to have faith that one day these monkeys will let us sleep and we can have a conversation with eachother again!

I'm still not able to be on my own with the boys yet - their little guts mean that they're so difficult to burp and it takes such a long time to get anything up that it takes two people and definitely not a mum with tendonitis in both wrists! The pain was so bad that I couldnt even lift a kettle let alone a baby. I couldn't tie my hair up, brush my teeth or change their nappies without wincing in pain - so enough was enough! i went to my GP for him to give me the steroid injection in both wrists.  He looked at my wrists and agreed that I have bad tendonitis from overuse due to being a new mum of twins. He looked a little hesitant and I asked him if he was sure he'd be able to do it - he said that he has done it before but if he got the wrong tendon then it wouldnt be effective and the more you have the less effective they are. He then said it would be best if I went to a specialist. Argh!!  Leaving the twins at home to get to the GP was a mad panic and now it was all wasted! So...the long and short of it is, a specialist gave me two steroid injections - I;d love to say I was really brave but my mum may not quite agree! I'd told her not to come with me at first - after everything I'd been through - the labour, the op for the retained placenta, the emotional rollercoaster of the boys in the NNu for 100 days ...of course i'm brave enough to have two injections. Apparently not. I was shaking like a leaf to the point where my legs were bouncing off the bed. Thank God my mum was there! The Dr said it may get worse before it gets better - and it did. Poor Matthew did all the feeds by himself as luckily the boys woke up separately in the night. We then had my mum and another nanny the next day so I could rest my wrists. I cant tell you how frustrating it is to not be able to to hold your own baby. The pain is slowly getting better but I may need another injection to get rid of the pain completely. My mums going on holiday soon...who's coming with me?!!

Although the boys have their problems and keep us awake all night they're just so gorgeous and I love them more and more each day. They're starting to do little smiles and love cuddles and their play mat. They love baths but hate getting out and most of all they love a foot massage! They're suckers for a bit of tlc and just love being stroked or massaged - just like their dad.

The boys have done one sleep study as we'd have enough of the richmnond team and their faulty machines - so we paid for another team to do it. The results were brilliant and they've been turned down to 0.06!! We have movement!! We need to get to 0 before they're off completely so we have a way to go but we'll keep paying or badgering whoever we need to to get them off O2 so they can be free from cannulas once and for all.




Bathtime! (the calm bit)

 Tash pregnant with her twins

1 comment:

  1. Oh bless you Soph. I think you are doing the right thing, you know them best of all and you won't get it wrong, you haven't been all this time so why should you now? Tiredness is horrendous and that is so much of the problem of how you are feeling. I am sure that you will get those gorgeous boys to be in sync before you know it. xxx