Great expectations

The last week has been filled with the usual ups and downs. The boys are still on 3 hourly feeds and were on two bottles to one tube feed. Last week Dr Pie saw the boys and said that he expects them to be on bottle only feeds by early next week (this coming Monday) and as soon as that happens then they're ready to come home. My heart literally skipped a beat and I called Matthew to tell him the good news! We were so excited and spoke quickly about all the things we need for their room so we're ready for the day we've both been waiting for for such a long time. The list was long and the last few days have been a bit of a blur. We wake up about 6.30am then its all systems go - express, shower, clean flat, mothercare trip, hospital, change, feed, burp, clean up vom and repeat all day, come home, research online more things to buy, build boys furniture, return wrong items to mothercare,  rush rush rush, bed, sleep and repeat all over again. I find myself literally running around the house trying to get as much done before getting to the hospital for 9.30/10am for the boys feeds.

I dont know why I havent learnt my lesson but I did get my hopes up and again I shouldnt have. The boys took a step back and had to go back to alternate feeds. One bottle, one tube feed. They're just so sleepy and have such bad reflux that they cant manage feeding from the bottle. They're so uncomfortable after feeding and they wriggle and squirm about then they're sick and finally they fall asleep meaning they're too sleepy to suck feed when their next feed is due. They wont be coming home next week now.

Matthew's been off for the Easter weekend which has been just the most incredible relief for me. Having him there to share all the stress and worry makes such a difference. We've tag teamed a bit too so we both have a little break from the hospital - although our time has been spent doing jobs around the house so we're both shattered! It's been a good weekend though and despite the horrible reflux, we've managed to get the boys just about back on to two bottles and one tube feed. There;s been a little bit of force feeding going on but it all counts! We have to get these boys home somehow!

Highlight of the week - The boys not only have reflux which is very common for premmie babies but they also find it very difficult to wind. Joey in particular has been doing well on this front. We sometimes see him stretching and we then hear little pop sounds - he's basically farting like a trooper. It's a great sound as it means he's more comfortable and can rest and be ready for his next feed. Yesterday, Matthew bent down to change Joeys nappy. As he bent down I heard a louder, more pronounced pop sound than I've heard before. I looked at Matthew and asked if that noise was Joey...Matthew shook his head but said , and I quote "but if anyone asks just say it was him!". He's already blaming his farts on his sons! To set the scene, the nursery was completely silent apart from Matthews fart and the nurses and other parents would have definitely heard him. I was holding Xander at the time and was laughing so much but trying to control it so no one noticed , which of course made it worse and little Xander was almost boucning off my chest as I was shaking so much from all the laughing. The worst thing about it was that there was another cot with another set of twins just behing Matthews bottom...so he basically farted in their faces. 

Other slightly more profound highlight of the week: Every week the boys have their Oxygen cannulas changed but it's always been done very quickly when they still have tape on their faces and their feeding line in. This week they changed the feeding tube at the same time on Xander and they took the tape off too. We saw his face for the first time in weeks. It was just amazing to see his face and to see what he actually looks like. He looked just perfect. I held his little face in my hands and gave him a million kisses all over. He was so handsome and looked like a healthy little baby. The nurse let Matthew hold him whilst I sobbed of course! It was so lovely to see him looking like other babies we see in the outside world and to catch a glimpse of what he really looks like without all the tubes on him. My precious little one was so gorgeous, I cried for him and told him that he wouldnt need the tubes forever and that he was so handsome just as he is. We will hopefully get to see Joey's face tomorrow and no doubt the tears will flow but they're happy tears... sort of.

So, we need to get these feeds going for them to come home and then the fun and sleep deprivation starts! We have no idea how long it'll take but slowly slowly my little miracle babies will come home.

 Joeby

 Xander fox cub

 Xanders beautiful face!

 Joey cuddles

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