Separation anxiety

There are so few babies in the NNU at the moment that the boys were the only babies left in the green room. It wasn't worth them keeping the room open just for our boys so they've moved rooms again. We're now in the blue room..this is otherwise known as the departure lounge! This is where babies just need a little bit of extra help before heading home..I'm now one of the mums I used to stare at through the window. I pick up my boys and I cover them in kisses, blow rasberries on their tummys and make stupid faces at them to try and make them smile. I love the way they get all excited and flappy when I tickle them. It doesnt happen very often as they're mostly asleep but when they do open their eyes it's so lovely to see them holding eye contact and acting like other babies.

They had their immunisations yesterday. I couldn't delay it any longer. I asked nurse Michelle to come in and watch over the boys (ok ok, hold my hand) whist they were being injected. I held on to Xander whilst he went first. He cried, then I cried and Michelle gave me a big hug.  Michelle then held Xander whilst Joey had his done. He screamed his head off and Xanders eyebrows went up and down and he desaturated on Joeys behalf! I held Joey and we both calmed them down. It wasn't nice but it was nothing compared to the blood tests, transfusions and other tests they've had. My brave boys.

I made the mistake of asking one of the nurses when they thought the boys would come home. She said she thought Xander would come home first as he was doing so much better...I've seen other mums go home with one twin at a time but as our boys have been pretty much level pegging it didnt occur to me that i'd take one home before the other. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving one of them there. I feel like i've been waiting all this time to walk out of the hospital with both my boys - it's such a happy day and we leave the hospital as we should. All four of us. To leave one there would just be horrible. I'd also not be allowed to bring one in whilst I visited the other. The nurses solution..dont visit the one in hospital! Not happening. I feel like i'd be abandoning joey if I left him there. It wouldn't be right to see him in his own cot without his brother there. I didnt make it to the car or loo this time. Instead I just cried as I held both their hands and told Joey to try really really hard to get better quicker.

Weirdly, the boys did a flip the next day. Joeys O2 levels went down and Xanders went up! Good boys - they want to come home together so they're just evening out! Massive sigh of relief...for now.

Xander

 Joey

 Xander

 Joey

Xander

 Xander trying to hold Joeys hand..or wake him up

 Joey fast sleep and not playing!